Gemma Kemp and Anisha Ali, in our Family Law team, share helpful tips on how to support a friend or family member going through a divorce or separation.
When someone close to you is going through a divorce or separation, it can be difficult to know how best to help. Divorce or separation is often one of life's most challenging experiences, bringing with it emotional, practical and financial uncertainties. While you may not be able to solve the situation, simply being there to listen and offer support can mean a great deal during a difficult time.
Here are some practical ways you can help a friend or family member through the process.
Listen without judgement
One of the most valuable things you can offer is a listening ear. People experiencing a divorce often need someone they can trust to talk openly to about their feelings.
- By providing a safe space, you will allow them to share their thoughts and emotions without fear of criticism or judgement.
- While it is natural to want to offer solutions or “fix” things, sometimes simply listening is the greatest support.
- Respect their pace. They may want to talk frequently at some stages and need more space at others.
Feeling heard and understood can help someone feel less isolated and more able to cope with the challenges ahead.
Offer practical support
Divorce can create significant demands on a person's time and emotional energy. Small acts of practical help can often have a bigger impact than you might realise.
You could consider helping with childcare or schools runs, offer assistance with household tasks or errands, prepare a meal or accompany them to appointments if they would appreciate the support.
These practical gestures can reduce stress and allow your loved one to focus on their wellbeing and their family's needs.
Remain neutral
When someone you care about is hurting, it can be tempting to take sides. However, maintaining a balanced and neutral approach is usually the most constructive form of support.
Try to avoid criticising their former partner or getting drawn into disagreements. Instead, focus on being there for your friend or family member without adding to any tension between them.
This can be particularly important where children are involved, as ongoing hostility between parents can make an already difficult situation more challenging for the whole family.
Encourage professional support
While friends and family play an important role, professional support should be obtained at an early stage.
This could include:
- Counselling or therapy to help process emotions and adjust to change.
- Financial advice where there are concerns about future arrangements.
- Legal advice from an experienced family lawyer to help them understand their rights, options and responsibilities.
Be patient
Divorce is rarely a straightforward emotional journey. People can experience a range of feelings, including sadness, anger, relief, anxiety and uncertainty, often all at different stages of the process.
There will be good days and more difficult days, so try to be understanding if they seem withdrawn or emotional. Keep checking in with them, even once the initial difficulties have passed.
Recovery and adjustment take time, and ongoing support can be just as valuable as support offered at the outset.
Remember the impact on children
If children are involved, they may also need additional support and reassurance. Every family is different, but offering stability and consistency where possible can help. Avoid discussing disagreements between parents in front of the children and, where appropriate, encourage positive relationships with both parents.
Children often benefit from knowing that the important adults around them are working together to support them through a period of change.
Your support can make a difference
Supporting a friend or family member through a divorce is not always easy, but the impact of your empathy, patience and understanding cannot be understated. By listening without judgement, offering practical help and encouraging professional support when needed, you can help them feel less alone as they navigate the next chapter of their lives.
Our Family Law team advises clients on all aspects of separation and divorce, including financial arrangements and matters involving children. If you or someone you know would like advice about their options, please get in touch with our team.
For further information or legal advice, please contact law@blandy.co.uk or call 0118 951 6800.
This article is intended for the use of clients and other interested parties. The information contained in it is believed to be correct at the date of publication, but it is necessarily of a brief and general nature and should not be relied upon as a substitute for specific professional advice.
