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Insights // 21 June 2021

How To Tell Children About Separation & Divorce: 10 Tips

Partner Claire Dyer, in our leading Family Law team, provides tips on how to tell your children about separation and divorce.

We understand that discussing divorce and explaining the situation to your children can be a daunting and difficult task.

To help and support everyone involved, we would suggest considering the following steps:

  1. Ideally, aim to tell your children when you are both together. Seek to discuss things properly in advance and agree on what you are going to say.
  2. You should both participate in talking to your children. This helps to demonstrate that the decision to separate is a joint decision which you are both comfortable with – but it is a good idea to also make sure that you say this to your children.
  3. Tell your children that you are separating because of differences between you both and that your decision is absolutely nothing to do with anything they have said or done at any stage.
  4. Be sure you to say that your relationship and love for them will not be affected in any way by the separation.
  5. Always tell the truth, as fully as possible, but avoid giving detailed information or saying anything that may upset or worry them.
  6. Have the conversation over a weekend so they have time to digest the information and talk to you when you are both more likely to be around.
  7. Explain that they don’t have to ask questions if they don’t want to, but that they can come to either of you at any time.
  8. Make it clear that you realise how this decision may upset or worry them and that you appreciate that it will have an impact on them long after you have separated.
  9. Tell them that you are working together to continue to be the best parents possible.
  10. Try to identify a neutral third party that they might be able to talk to if they have questions or concerns. 

Our specialist Family Law team can provide helpful and understanding advice for you and your family if you are considering separation or divorce, including advice in relation to your children.

For further information or legal advice, please contact law@blandy.co.uk or call 0118 951 6800. 

This article is intended for the use of clients and other interested parties. The information contained in it is believed to be correct at the date of publication, but it is necessarily of a brief and general nature and should not be relied upon as a substitute for specific professional advice.

Claire Dyer

Claire Dyer

Partner, Family Law

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